Anxiety #17

I've always been a big big worrier. I worry about everything - school, family, friends, life, so it only makes sense that I'm worrying about university.
It's only a few more weeks until I leave home and I'm currently in emotional limbo, somewhere between excitement and fear. Yes, it had been a massive relief to open my results and get the grades I needed/wanted, but I can't help feeling a little apprehensive and anxious about it all. What if I don't fit in? What if I don't like it there? What if I don't like the people? A lot of what ifs.
University is supposed to be one of the best experiences of your life and I'm sure I'll be fine once I settle in and all, but right now, I'm really quite scared about moving out and becoming my "own person".
I know, I know, I know, I'm 18 now, I'm technically an adult, but all these preparations for uni make me realise just how spoon fed I am and how reliant I am on my parents.
And all the little things build up, things like having my own room for the first time, self-discipline, cooking for myself, but I think the biggest thing is being... Alone?
Me and my sister are really close, we do everything together and we share everything. It's going to be so weird not having someone around to speak to, and since I'm a worrier, I'm kind of dreading not having someone there to cool me down or talk things through with - no one to take my mind off the things that I'm worrying about.
And the only thing that's reassuring is that everyone is in the same boat. Somehow we'll all muddle along together.

Yesterday night we were down the pub and we just so happened to stumble across the subject of uni. One of my best friends is leaving next week and we're all saying how we'll keep in touch and see each other in the holidays, but everyone knows that things won't be the same after we go. I'm questioning how likely it will be that we'll all meet up and even though I'm normally a 'glass half full' person, realistically and inevitably, I think we're all going to drift apart. People change.
I know I'll look back in the future, thinking I was so stupid to worry about going to uni, but I think I've become a bit disillusioned about it all.
Are people really that easy to forget?

Parrtyyyy #16

Last night I went to a friend's party, and even though it was a birthday party, it was kinda like a "goodbye I might not see you in a while" party.
Call me a part pooper but I didn't drink too much. I have to work this weekend waawaaa. It was fine, a few people didn't drink anyway since they were either working the next day or driving home.
So anyway, I hope my friends learnt a valuable lesson from last night - NEVER EVER play ring of fire.
Some of my friends/idiots decided it would be so much fun to play and voila - chaos ensues.
What's worse is that they added the craziest of rules, like spitting in to the middle cup and stripping and mouth to mouth drink transfer.
One of the guys stripped right down and only had a cushion to cover his modesty. Shame I had no pictures, I'm sure he'd love it if they were on facebook.
Turns out he soiled the cushion anyway, there were telltale white marks after which was so gross - the hostess was retching hahaha.

Ring of fire rules - just in case you wanted to play, prep your liver and stomach first though!

Don't get me wrong, drinking games can be fun but this was villlleeee, I nearly barfed watching the mouth to mouth drink passing, one guy almost chundered into someone else's mouth.
Let's just say they are more fun to watch than play.

Now that all my friends have got their places/jobs sorted, it's only a matter of time before we actually leave. Someone's holding a final goodbye party at the end of the month, so it's not goodbye quite yet.

Everyone's saying that they'll come visit eachother, but is it bad of me to say that I kind of don't want to travel to see anyone?
I'm miles away from everyone else, people are up in Edinburgh and Lancaster, Loughborough, Nottingham and Cambridge  - I don't really fancy travelling halfway across the country to spend what... a day with them? I reckon they're being a bit too optomistic. Besides we'll see eachother when we get home for Christmas and what not.
Even if I am reluctant to go see them when term starts, I will miss them but uni's kind of like another chapter (sorry so the cliche book-life comparison) that I can't wait to write.

I can't believe that a year ago was as results day and the rest of the holiday was spent writing that freaking personal statement. It's so crazy that it's all kind of... happening for me?! whhaaat I'm a med fresher.

I'm a Bad Friend #13

One of my best friends' birthday is in the coming weeks and I have already bought her the present she wanted - Bossypants by Tina Fey. It's been sitting on my shelf for a while waiting to be wrapped, but I couldn't resist reading the first chapter. Then the next chapter and the next.
Before I knew it, I had read the whole book. I even made sure not to open the pages too wide to stop the spine getting damaged. Sneaky sneaky.
I mean last Christmas, she asked for Ellen Degeneres' book and I must admit I did flick over a few pages but I never read the whole thing... Am I a bad person? Probably, but hey, it did no one any harm and besides, it's hardly my fault if she asks for such good books.

It's also my sister's birthday soon and at her request, I've bought her a load of DVDs which probably isn't the best idea. We have unopened DVDs from over a year ago that are dying to be watched but it seems like neither of us are even in the mood to watch them.

Olympics wise, last night was awesome - Super Saturday indeed, 3 golds just in the Athletics!
Shame about the mens and womens football teams though, I really thought there would be medals.

Freedom and Boredom #9

Having finished school, I thought I would have bundles of time to do loads of things that I've been planning to do, like catch up on some much deserved sleep.
While that may be true - I do have a lot of time on my hands, I'm already getting bored of it all. It hasn't even been a month since my last exam and I found that I don't really know what to do with myself. I'm literally doing the same thing every day.

Of course, my plans with my friends are still intact. Just the other day a friend and I had lunch together and the others have organised another pub trip - I can't really complain.
Since not everyone is free at the same time, it means that I'm bored in the meantime. I've tried entertaining myself - reading books, hardcore gaming, helping out my parents at work, but nothing really seems to do the trick.

Solutions? Get a job I guess, I'd be killing two birds with one stone - avoiding boredom and earning money. The only problem is, if I'm going to uni in September, who is going to hire someone for just 2 months?

So, for the time being, I'll have to get used to doing not so much. I've noticed that I've suddenly become a film buff and have started rewatching some of our DVDs and I've been persuaded to start watching 30 rock, which I'm currently obsessed with.
I've also started running again, something that I've neglected to do for a while - except it's been raining non stop for the last week. Thankfully, my dad was crazy enough a couple of years back to put a treadmill in our kitchen so it's not so much of an issue other than the fact that running in your kitchen isn't really the same as running outside...

Anyway, meanwhile I guess I'll get back to this glorious sunny weather we've been having...

Ok, so it might not be this bad where I am, but it seriously hasn't stopped raining for like a week.

Crazy Birthday #7

I haven't posted in a while since a lot of things have happened...

After my parents banned me from going on holiday, I was pretty pissed and decided to organise my own little get together for my birthday before hitting the pub afterwards - I messaged everyone to see whether they were free.
Most of the boys were up for the pub but not available in the afternoon for a mini party - a standard response.
The girls on the other hand were all a bit funny; S who is an iPhone addicted is normally the first to respond, but this time she didn't even text back. The only one who did was the girl who never ever ever uses her phone.
Fair enough, pub crawl it was!


My birthday was last month (oopsie - June 29th) and I was in the front room with my sister, E when we heard a car pull up outside - I turned to E and said how much I hated people parking outside our house since it gives me the creeps and makes me all paranoid that they're going to break in and steal our stuff. E looked outside and just said that there were some lads outside... GREEEAAAT.

The doorbell rang and all I can picture in my head is a bunch of big guys about to barge their way into our house and rob us. I answered the door and nobody was outside but I hear talking and I see a random box of cake on top of our hedge...
My friends are the best hiders ever!

Massive shock though, my friends all jumped out and surprised me!? Turns out my parents had already organised a secret surprise party for my 18th - it's so unlike them to do anything like this.

Had the most amazing day and in the evening we went out to the pub to buy my first ahem, legal drink.
Cheers to being 18!